Today was a very busy day for me, as always, but was definitely different. It is starting to become glaringly apparent that this knowledge that I have studied for years is incredibly needed by many. I came to the realization today that I am actively working with SEVEN different people on balancing their doshas. I don't know what that number sounds like to you, but I can tell you it is perfect. :) It happens to be my favorite number too! Seven different people, with seven different sets of challenges, that are all being benefited by the individuality of this science. The beauty of this system is its variety of methods of treatment and how customized they are to the individual! Something has come up in every single case study I have worked with lately. It is an emotional challenge that is not limited to just one dosha, but is found in all three. So here we go. :)
Imagine for a moment that you have a very dear friend that you have been friends with your whole life. The two of you have seen each other through childhood traumas, high school heartbreaks, and now adult versions of heartbreaks and traumas. This friend is the only person you could ever depend on. Understanding and encouraging, supportive but honest, loving and accepting, compassionate and forgiving, etc. They were a constant that helped you through the worst of times and rejoiced with you in the best of times. Imagine now, the kind of love and affection that you would have for this person. Friends like this are precious, right? So this friend of yours is in a relationship with someone who is the opposite of everything we just described. This person frequently makes condescending, demeaning remarks about your friend. Impatient, judgmental, demanding, or questioning and doubting everything they do, or expressing a lack of faith or confidence in their ability to do anything right. Are you still with me? How would that make you feel? Would you keep quiet? Or would you speak up? "Why do you let them treat you like that?" "You deserve so much more!" "Why do you let them talk to you that way?" After all this person has done for you, and all you have been through, of course you would speak up!! Right? You may have been in this situation before. It is hard to see someone you love mistreated and put down.
But for some reason we are much more tolerant of the voices that come from within, aren't we? Those voices will differ in pitch and tone depending on our dosha. If we are vata dominant, there will be doubt, anxiety, fear attached to the voice. "I'll never get anything done." "I can't finish anything I start." "I'll never find any peace of mind." "It doesn't matter if I follow through, people know how I am."
If we are pitta dominant the voices are much harsher, rougher, and heated. "What is wrong with you? Get it together!" "Suck it up. There's no time to be tired. There's too much to do." "Just get it done, you can rest later."
If we are kapha dominant, the voices are heavy, negative, and weary. "Why bother trying? I'll just fail in the end." "Just keep your mouth shut, they don't care anyways." "Good thing you didn't trust them completely , you knew they were going to hurt you." "Nothing matters, just go back to sleep."
Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you? The sad truth is that many of us silently speak to ourselves in this way every day. We are unforgiving, harsh, and sometimes downright abusive to ourselves. Why? The reasons are different for each of us. It all comes down to the same train of thought and belief that in order to feel loved, valued and worth something, it must come from outside of us. This is not only faulty thinking, but incredibly damaging to all of the other relationships that we have. It all comes back to unconditional love for oneself. EVERYTHING. This truth is undeniable to me in every client and student I have ever worked with. Next we will talk about why this is so critical in the peace and health of every other relationship we have. Your homework until then is to start listening.... very closely to the way you speak to yourself. You might be surprised with what you hear.... <3
